Saturday, 10.01.2009 / SIFL 1st Division
GAME REPORT: Voodoo - Shanghai Krauts FC / Result: 8-0 (4-0)

hey guys!

finally I recovered a bit from our last match so that I can give u the match report of our outstanding performance – 0:8 loss against voodoo…

normally there is nothing to add after such a result, but anyway I would like to point out some reasons why it wasn’t that bad and why (after a couple of beers) it felt like an unlucky draw.

if u consider the following points, u’ll see, under normal conditions we would have beaten them easily:

1. a lot of players put some weight on during christmas time (probably coz of good food, lots of drinks and no trainig at all)
2. some of us had their “annual dinner” with the company the evening before and were still a bit tipsy on the pitch (including me – or was it only me??)
3. there was NO beer on the sideline – except in some players mentioned already in point 2. – I don’t know how this could happen!!
4. they betrayed us in choosing the pitch – we warmed up on pitch 2 and already had built up a close relationship to the gras and the goals and then, in the last second, they switched us to pitch 1…
5. “tactics magician” helmut was enjoying his holidays somewhere in the sun, so we had to rely on bilgins 4-4-2 system – which we just where not used to
6. j-p (the mütze) matzke was playing with a cap and couldn’t see anything
7. sturmtank hesmer was running everywhere, but is always seems as if the ball wants to avoid him…
8. due to some “voodoo-zauber” the guys got a penalty after a few minutes which shocked us a bit in our creative structure of play
9. we got 2 more goals within the next 5 minutes which shocked us even more… - but we were still excused by the “voodoo-zauber”…
10. it was already 0:4 after 45 minutes…
11. there was no hot tea (with rum or any other “energizer”) during the break
12. in the second half not that much happened
13. they cut the “right wing” of our “flügelflitzer” sven by a brutal tackle – I hope ur doing better by now?
14. finally we ended up losing 0:8 and gaining the experience that we should play with a traditional “abräumer” – sweeper – in front of our defense and that we hv to train a bit more ;-)

hope next saturday will be better!!! – can’t get worse anyway

cheers, JPR

Saturday, 13.12.2008 / SIFL 1st Division
GAME REPORT: Shanghai Krauts FC - Voodoo Child / Result: 1-2 (0-0)

Hi Sauerkrauts, Dear Friends

(This is the truth and nothing else but the truth.)

It was Saturday, the bloody 13th, early in the morning at 10 a.m..Some guys of our big squad already went back home to the far West to spent early Christmas holidays. They probably enjoyed a good-night beer or a good-night whatsoever not knowing what will happen many thousand kilometers east in Tianma, where a bunch of decent clubmembers met.

Cheffe Bilgin himself selected very experienced players for this important match. He seemed very satisfied this early morning when he looked at his team. 13 Players and arround 600 years of experience formed the magic Zickezacke-circle before the match bigan at exactly 9:58 a.m.. The Vodoo kickers had a very good start and pushed strongly into our half. Chairman Shu and his Sauerkrauts fan block saw lots of turbolent scences in the first 15 minutes and quite a few surprises. Goalkeeper Thorsten was a true backbone of the team and proofed his competence already after 2 minutes when he easily catched a dangerous corner-kick from our oponents.In minute10 a kind of “football-miracle” happened. A Vodoo striker passed our defence easily on the right but all the sudden Thorsten appearred just in front of him and destroyed all Vodoo hopes for an early goal. (He was never better.)

After a few turbulent moments our team got stronger. Austria’s ex-national player Stefan Nissl marked the first impressive shot onto VC’s goal (12.), unluckily without any other result than a smile on Chairman Shu’s face. The Sauerkrauts played a very decent first half due to a very strong defence with Alik and Marco in center and with Stefan and John on right and left sides. And of course Torsten in goal.

Part 2 of this nice-morning-match didn’t go so well, In a short period of disorientation of our defensive midfield players including Erich (yes, it’s me) Vodoo’s number 17 managed to kick the ball from about 20 meters into the left corner of our box – 0:1 against us.

And it got worse: Vodoo soon shot another goal 0:2 which was only bloody pure luck for them and nothing else. Torsten could not do anything. But Sauerkrauts never give up, especially when El Presidente himself is running around on the pitch - trying to be a striker. His presence definitely had a positive effect and it motivated the whole team (He promised me an extra Christmas present for writing this). While Daniel entertained and confused our oponents, Eric started a wonderful attack from center midfield. He quickly passed the ball to Stefan who was coming from half right and then finsihed brilliantly with a powerful goal just from outside the box. After this impressive 1:2 Sauerkrauts burned a real firework and now played much stronger than before. Unluckily (it was the 13th !!!) we didn’t make it although we’ve had many, many chances to equalize. I don’t mention any name here except …………. and ………….. who really missed out 100% - chances to score “Cha-Tos”. (Please fill in your name and send it back to Bilgin if you want to.) However, let’s have a look at the good side. This was a wonderful morning: We got some sunshine, lots of fresh air, a good running and we offered a good show to our numerous fans. Need to mention:

This was one of our 2 best matches

My man of the match was Torsten “Olli” Ka……lus

Allan played inspite suffering from a bad injury (thank you, well done)

Bilgin played mentally injured after a strong shot hit his head (actually it didn’t make a big difference)

Let’s try to come up with some strategy next time.

Alright folks, that’s it with my report.

Enjoy Christmas and I am wishing all of you a very Happy 2009. I love to see you all again in January in Shanghai. Come back safe, The Sauerkrauts need you.

So long,
Cheers Erich

Saturday, 06.12.2008 / SIFL Cup
GAME REPORT: Shanghai Sauerkrauts 06 - Oranje FC / Result: 2-6 (1-4)

Servus Kameraden,

It seemed like we went from one extreme to the other.

First, we realized that we only had 12 players on the pitch compared to 25 players two weeks ago. A little bit disappointing for our “grosser Haeuptling Helmut”.

Second, some of us just couldn’t understand why on Wednesday we still had 20°C and the night before Saturday we only had -5°C.

Third, some of us just couldn’t believe, where were all these Dutch people or Kaeskoepfe coming from and what they were doing in Shanghai? (ed: natuerlich Kaese verkaufen…) We were still thinking that the Hollaender were only jamming our German “Autobahnen” (highways) with their “Wohnwagen” (mobile homes). I have never seen any mobile home in Shanghai, so where are they living?

But back to the pitch: the 12 players and one injured player Christoph, who was suffering from stemming too many “Masskruege”, were in a really good mood, as it was a cloudless sunny sky. This resulted in a couple of jokes during changing clothes: “Meiner ist ihr zu gross”; “Nachts ist es kaelter als draussen”; “Er ist kurz aber dafuer duenn”; “No, no I didn’t drink any beer last night”!

During warm-up Bilgin was complaining that he feel as cold as in Anatolia, just that there were no mountains here. He directly was corrected by Eric and another anonymous guy, who fears that the Turkish secret service will search for him and let him eat a Doener, that we were playing in the magical triangle of the mountains Tianmashan, XiaoKunshan and Sheshan in which a lot of beers, balls and matches got lost! In our short tactical meeting our chief “Haeuptling Helmut” announced a new tactic which was called “Druff unn deweddah”; translation for people living north of Frankfurt: “darauf und dagegen”; in English: “seek and destroy”.

At first we started the match without any linesman. It seemed like they disappeared in the magical triangle! The first 20 min were not so bad and it was already clear that it would be a hard and aggressive match which resulted in a couple of yellow cards later on. Especially one cheesehead who seemed that he likes eating tables always provocated our players.

The next 10 min were completely disastrous and the whole team was standing beside itself or I would call it “neben der Kappe sein”. We got 3 terrible goals in only 10 min.First one: A direct corner was flying through three of us and the goal keeper inside the net. Than Johann made a terrible pass back to the goal keeper which was caught by one of the Cheeseheads who had no big trouble to make it 2:0. This was definitely one box of beer, Johann!!! Before the third goal the ball was actually out, but the blind referee didn’t see and so the ball slipped through the fingers of Hakan. After that we reorganized according to Allan’s instruction and quickly Marc made the 1:3 after a fine combination. Unfortunately we got another unnecessary goal just before the break.

After the break we took over the match and forced the cheeseheads to use unfair methods to stop us. After a rough foul in the box we got a penalty, which Timo souveraen verwandelte! Unfortunately we couldn’t manage to make another goal andd so as always we got the 5th. Totally frustrated I finally got my yellow card which I already should have got 3 fouls before. That’s also some beer. Although it was hopeless we still didn’t gave up and fought, but finally we got a “Konter”, supported by the blind linesman who didn’t see 3m offside, which lead to No.6. With the victory in their hands the dutch still played unfair and especially one guy with a table in the back made a couple of provocations.

Finally we can say that we didn’t play so bad except the 10 min in the first half. (ed: …and without linemen we would have won) So we are looking forward to win our 2nd match next Saturday. For those who disappeared in the magical 3rd floor of Tongren Lu on Friday and couldn’t make it to the match on Saturday don’t forget it is never to cold, you can only wear the wrong clothes and you shouldn’t leave your “Kameraden” alone in the mountains!

In diesem Sinne: Hurra, das ganze Dorf ist da!!!

The only original Hoffemer in Shanghai, Marco. (Yes, I am one of the 3272)

Saturday, 22.11.2008 / SIFL 1st Division
GAME REPORT: Shanghai Krauts FC - Shanghai Sauerkrauts 06 / Result: 6-1 (4-1)

To come...

Saturday, 08.11.2008 / SIFL 1st Division
GAME REPORT: Malones Anzac Shooters FC - Shanghai Sauerkrauts 06 / Result: 2-4

To come...

Saturday, 01.11.2008 / SIFL 1st Division
GAME REPORT: Shanghai Sauerkrauts 06 - Crazy Turks / Result: 3-2 (2-2)

Ed: Match report against the Turks starts with a “Gegendarstellung” from Jan aka Brusthaar:

“just a short statement: Everybody who shakes his head in disbelieve about such a narrow victory should know that we were playing with 9 skrauts against 13 crazy turks first half because Hakan and Bilgin played like brainwashed. Our luck that the 2nd half goalkeeper of the turks (a BLOND guy size XXL) then turned out to be a german spykeeper. The first try to lead us to the win (a picked up returnpass to the goal) was surly confounded by turkish spy Bilgin who shot the resulting freekick from 7m goal distance 20m over the target. They neutralized their efforts. But nobody could stop Leo to shoot from hopeless position so that even Bilgin could not expect what finally came out to be our 3:2 victory goal...

Ed: …and here goes the Turk himself…

Merhaba Patates,

Yeah, better I do not translate this, but “patates” is Germany’s most eaten vegetable and well-known by Turkish. The long awaited game finally happened, we played the Crazy Turks and tensions were already intense for weeks. Rumors have been around in terms of the team name and what part of them represents the “crazy” part. Jokes were continuing during the entire week. Just 2 of them, without mentioning other details:

Joke 1: Warum darf die türkische Fußball-Nationalmannschaft bei der nächsten Weltmeisterschaft nicht mehr antreten? Weil sie bei jeder Ecke einen Dönerstand aufmachen.

Joke 2: Ein Deutscher, ein Amerikaner, ein Italiener und ein Türke fliegen im Flugzeug über dem Meer. Zu wenig Treibstoff, zu viel Ballast. "Wir werfen nun Ballast ab." Da sagt der Amerikaner: "Ich werfe Dollars ab. Davon haben wir viel zu viele." Der Italiener: "Wir haben viel zu viele Pizzen, ich werfe Pizzen ab." Da sieht der Türke den Deutschen an: "Mach jetzt keinen Scheiß, Mann!"

The morning for “Chef persoenlich” began already under immense stress, even it was Saturday and he was expected to have rest from “insurance” and “financial crisis”, but no, as usual “Praesi” directly via sms at 7:55 : “Ich will heute 3 Punkte und einen doener ohne alles, sonst rollen koepfe”, live from Tongren Lu. As it was again communicated and approved during “Dringlichkeitssitzung 18”, it was expected to be in case of a loss the last day for Coach Helmut and Mr. Dirk Richelmann was already appointed to give “Kuendigungsschreiben” to the Coach in person.

Let’s the game start: In total we had 17 players who showed up, numbers we were dreaming about last year, but it seems since “Visa rules” have been made easier, it is easier to find players in Shanghai. The games started as it should start: Sauerkrauts in the attacking mood and with enormous pressure. The team agreed to fight for the Coach and the fruits were collected already in the 12th minute: 1:0 by header by Mr. Jan Matzke, after a wonderful “Flanke” from the right side. As it is usual with the team instead concentration Sauerkrauts rather gets demolished. In the 20th min the Turks made the equalizer after a corner, which was kicked the short corner, header out by “Chef persoenlich” to Sauerkrauts player 12 m from our goal, but instead kicking it out, somehow the opponent gets the ball and unluckily catches our goalkeeper on his wrong side, who was very surprised by the opponent’s shot to his left sight. The ball really stupidly rolled in. Hakan agreed to have this mistake counted under his account.

The equalizer came quite surprising as up to that point we were controlling the game. As usual our weakness appeared after the equalizer, which usually results in decreased motivation, as player’s starting to blame each other reflecting in another goal in the 24th min: Corner by Turkish positioning 7m area in front of our goal, whereby Marco Engelhardt and opponent jumping for header for the ball and unbelievably both not reaching this low ball, which fells surprisingly down on “Chef persoenlich Gegenspieler”, who directly positions the ball into our goalkeepers right corner. I have to admit that this ball was my mistake, I should have got it, but we agreed with Marco Engelhardt on a 50/50 responsibility share. The Turkish were leading now the game by 2:1. Being honest, I was cooking inside and any loss would have made me really angry. After the goal we woke up and in the 40th min it was time for the equalizer: Pass from the centre received by Alan, dribbling around opponent’s defense and passing the ball from the right sight to Jan Matzke, who somehow was in a good mood scoring well positioned his 2nd goal placed with a flat shot to the right side. The goal before the end of the first half was more than important but was closed to a offside position.

The second half was for sure with a lot of motivation and both teams were fighting for each ball. This resulted in 30 min soccer without actually any chance for both teams. But the last 15 min definitively was in our hand. In the 77th cross by Leo from 35 m to the 16m area of opponent’s goal, but who knows how it happened, the ball was rather flying into the direction of the goalkeeper, without touching the ground and the goalkeeper in a crazy way directly intending to kicking the ball out resulting that he failing to touch the ball in the right way and placing the ball into his own goal. It was really an amazing goal by Leo and somehow a nice birthday present from the goalkeeper (seems goalkeepers like to handle birthday presents). I think we are always quite nice to our goalkeepers, I tell you guys, the Turkish were nearly killing their own goalkeeper. But the last 10 minutes were even better, but Juergen Kurz in the 80 min (cross by Alik from the right sight) alone in front of the goal by header fails to hit, in the 83rd min Alan (Pass by Chef persoenlich) alone in front of the goal fails too and 3 min before the end Juergen Kurz (solo by Chef persoenlich) managing to fail again alone in front of the goal keeper.

The “crazy part” of the Turks were realized, when Stefan Enneking was involved in an incident, where their captain scratched his face. To sum it up, we can say, it was a nice game for us and finally the result we have been expecting for a long time. “Praesi” was celebrating this successful 6-points weekend (Krauts won by 2-0) throughout the entire week. It has been a long time ago, that 6 points were collected by both teams.

Let’s focus on our next victory. Especially the return of Aydin, Stefan Nissl and Eric is really expected. We hope to present next week also a new player “Stefan” as a new striker, which will definitively help us in the offensive part.

Iyi aksamlar

Chef Persoenlich (appointed for Praesi again 2010)

Saturday, 25.10.2008 / SIFL 1st Division
GAME REPORT: Shanghai Sauerkrauts 06 - Shanghai Cosmos / Result: 1-7 (0-3)

Hallo “Verlierer”,

Touching the most emotional part of human by calling them “Verlierer” [losers] might help to increase motivation among our squad. Following another disastrous appearance at the Pudong pitch, we started ask ourselves, if something is wrong with the pitch and if we shall return voluntarily back to Tianma. Feedback among team members were this time focusing on the grass “to long, to wet, to green”, even we tried hard to use the pitch as reason for our 3rd straight loss, we might have not achieved to convince “Praesi” with this “Rentner Fussball” with the new “Swabia” System. His disappointment was clearly communicated to Sauerkrauts Management by conference call 4 minutes after the game and in an emergency arrangement “Dr. Richelmann” [Chief Assistant Krauts/Praesi] appeared at the pitch to “ueberreichen” Helmut’s resignation letter. With all my efforts I was able [I paid him] to get out another game for our Coach for this Saturday’s game. Main requirement was to sign a Letter of Guarantee to win against the Turks and this weeks system decided by “Chef persoenlich [Mogul Sauerkrauts]”

Having the last 2 games in mind we were for sure trying to make it against Cosmos easier and intended as usual to win or at least to show some improvement on the pitch. But as I might have communicated wishes or plans are usually often differ in China and might “slightly” J different with the outcome. With a total show up of 14 players, we received in total 0.5 goal per player letting us lose 7:1 against COSMOS ([C]lowns [O]f [S]hanghai - [M]ourons [O]f [S]hanghai), which is really a big shame.

The worst part was actually the way we lost. It was our worst game out of the 3 matches we had. The defense was quite bad contributing a critical factor to our loss. Even the referee sucked, we still were complaining with them instead focusing on our game. The goals happened in a manner, which was more the unbelievable. Goal 1: For this goal some of us were thinking, if I have managed to convert Thorsten our goalkeeper to the Islam, because he was opening both hands, looking to the sky, waiting for the ball to catch, but failing to catch it, instead being friendly to our opponent and giving him a “birthday present”, even the guy told him later it was not his birthday. After investigating this goal I found out that Mr. Kalus will stay Christian, as it easier to pray and safer for the goal keeper, as he can use both hands to catching the ball and not for praying. Goal 2: Ball in the 5 m space, Thorsten on the ground, defense was not able to kick out the ball and somehow the ball rolled in. Goal No 3: good combination by Cosmos from the right sight and passing “Mr. Cry” in our defense in a “Kindergarden” way and scoring it nicely [with this performance we will transfer him back to Krauts..zhzzzzz]. Goal number 4: John Zhu, oh man, was the guy you’re your colleague or your friend, this was the 2nd birthday present after Thorsten’s or it might by also the case that the “Malaysian bet mafia” approach John to let him to such things. For goal number 5-7 I will not specify it, some where really “referee contribution” but still and we were quite done at the end.

This next paragraph, which follows is specifically dedicated for No.10 [oh, that’s me]. Yes, auch ein blindes Huhn findet den Hahn im Strohhaufen [or whatever you call it in German oder war es die Nadel]. With a 23 m shot the ball was „unhaltbar“ placed im „Winkel“. After years of unsuccessful practice, I collected the fruits of my daily “kick the ball against my neighbor’s car” and scored the goal of the day. Without even paying the opponent I was selected for the man of the match. I was celebrating it throughout Saturday and Sunday and recognized it on my credit card on money, how expensive scoring goals is.

What made me happier was the 14 goals by Krauts, congratulations. Still, we were expecting 19 goals to let us forget our defeat 2 years ago by 19:2 against the French Team in the Monday Tournament. Seems this shall be followed by the Sauerkrauts this weekend. Sorry guys, will need to go now and hope to see you soon all back.

Chief Editor B. G [Chef persoenlich, Mogul]

Saturday, 18.10.2008 / SIFL 1st Division
GAME REPORT: Shanghai Sauerkrauts 06 - Crown ReUnited / Result: 2-5 (2-1)

Hi(gh) Guys….

Most of us might be still “high” after so much excitement all over the weekend. Therefore, focus shall be in the initial step put on the entertainment part reflecting Sauerkrauts (btw also Krauts) strongest “Geheimwaffe”. Honestly the weekend was full with options: Soccer, Judy’s Too Anniversary and F1. Yes, most of you might thought during the weekend that all this would contribute to decreased “show up ratio”, but it seems the Sauerkrauts Squad this years manages quite well to put “business travel”, “stupid meetings” or “wifes/girlfriends shopping tours” or “non-sense excuses” to working hours and show up with 19 players! Or is it the financial crises, which already shows it first impacts keeping us less busy during the week so time for soccer on the weekend? Let me tell all of those, who didn’t join, what happened Saturday starting with soccer, with short stops at F1 and Judy’s Anniversary (Hot!).

Arriving at the pitch in Timo’s car an hour earlier I had time to manage certain things and further improving Sauerkrauts “strategic infrastructure 2009” to follow as “Hoffenheim” mit “Directaufstieg” :

1. In an another “Hochempfindlich Dringlichkeitssitzung” Timo’s dog has been promoted to Sauerkrauts Mascot 2008 (please understand that I will collect from each player 20 RMB for his/her food related costs”, because he/she/it “frisst” like a “Haengebauchschwein” (before actually I thought it was one, but Timo showed me the “dog passport’ that it was not. Wolfram’s Dog our old mascot has retired and found a “peaceful” place in a restaurant near XiangYang Lu [10% discount possible for the ribs, the restaurant manager told me for Sauerkrauts/Krauts [on first comes first serves basis, as our old mascot was quite “knoching”.]

2. I thought after 9 years in China, it will stop one day that I will have this discussion, but I doubt it. I tried to explain for 15 min the pitch management that they shall put drinks not under the sun, as no one drinks hot water. He didn’t understand how we can drink cold water. Alan could u next time explain him again? Now the joke: I teached the guy, if someone asks for water and I wrote it down on a paper to show the paper, where I wrote “Cold water or Pissheisses Wasser, what u want Mr?”. Please try it out.

With the arrival of the squad, we started to concentrate what really matters. The game was planned to be “zukunftsweisend” [as usual]. Especially Coach “Dicknoether” was quite “unruhig”, as during the week enormous pressure was put on him by “Praesi” personally. With a big surprise he was catching the team’s interest: “1-3-3-3-1 System” was going to be implemented as a solution to last weeks lousy performance meaning “Angola system” was stopped, shortly being implemented as the replacement for the “Nicaragua system” two weeks ago. Due to the high average age within Sauerkrauts, which was influencing to remember this number “13331” “Chef persoenlich” replaced it with the name “Helmut Hinterdorf System [Swabia]”..

The game started as it usually starts for Sauerkrauts: First goal scored by the opponent after 13 minutes to let us lead by 1:0, which was coming quite surprisingly. In a quick fight back action and after a nice pass by John Zhu (you are apologized for last weeks mistake) Eric scored by header to the right corner the equalizer. What was then more surprising was that Qi Wei even increased to let the Sauerkrauts lead the game by 1:2. Everything was going on plan and with our new “Schwaben Goalkeeper” [thanks helping us out] we were quite stable in the defense. The game was very organized in the first half and everyone was keeping position. Especially Timo had great 45 minutes.

Being honest, I have experienced several Sauerkrauts games and what I have learned is that we are sometimes “inconsistence” and things came as they often come for the Sauerkrauts: “Absturz” in the second half. After getting the 2:2 by an “unlucky action” after a free kick by the opponent striking Timo, the ball was touched so unlucky that it went trough our goalkeepers legs [was nicely tunneled in a unlucky way]. The goal was quite a disappointment for us and instead keeping things going on in an organized way I had the feeling that all of us wanted to score the next goal. Positions were not kept anymore resulting in 3 additional goals letting us losing the game by 5:2. For us the result is not within our expectations and disappointment was felt after the game, even there was “a” lot of beer, the result was not making us thirsty. As an additional result of the game “Chef persoenlich” will “Helmut die Leviten lesen”. Especially the fact having too many players on the pitch with too many changes might have be also problem for losing the game.

Still it was a nice day and the weather was really nice. Having Judy’s Anniversary Party” on the mind, we were able to forget this disaster quite quickly, concentrate on the really matters in our lives: “Partying” at Tong Ren Lu. Not only soccer attracts us, no, I was surprised that many of us showed up at Judy’s Too Saturday, which showed our sponsor that investing in Krauts is not waste of money. When I arrived Uwe was already half naked dancing on the “Stange” with some sexy hot girls, observed by his girlfriend, accompanied by “in Hochform Praesi”.

With all this excitement on Saturday, we were quite happy, which helped us to forget also “the worst ever performed F 1” race. I hope our guys, who were there didn’t fall asleep. Our next game will be against Cosmos, who were beaten by Krauts last minute goal by 2:1, whereby first goal by Helge and second goal “Someone”, which really makes me happy to “ernten” the fruits of our “re-structuring”. Let’s hope it continues for a long time.

Last Rumors: Two Sauerkrauts wifes are pregnant! Congratulations from the team! At least in this area we score massively to realize our “F-Jugend dream” team by 2020:).

See u guys around

Chef persoenlich

Saturday, 11.10.2008 / SIFL 1st Division
GAME REPORT: Shanghai Sauerkrauts 06 - Qilin B / Result: 0-3 (0-3)

It was great, it was sensational….aehmm….of course not the way we played, I was talking more about the pitch. As also I experienced it, most of us were happy to appear back to the pitch, after so long time. According to the statistics, as usual managed and prepared by “Mogul Bilgin persoenlich” average weight of the team has increased to 2.87t during the holidays, which was quite disastrous in terms of trying to keep our average speed by 3km per hour from last year. It seems some rules have to be implemented in order to be back to track from next week on.

Our first game was planned to be the direction for the entire season: Win and eliminate the opponent and accompany our first team Krauts next year the 1st league! But as it is usual in China, plan and strategy are always on the paper, the reality is rather different (it sucks). But as we also know it in China, there are always some excuses, if things do not work out: YES, we had new players, who did never play together; YES the pitch was new; YES El Presidente was not there; YES we still had alcohol in the blood, etc., countless reasons.

But not this time, I will not let excuses count, as it can be definitively said that our performance was below our capabilities and it seemed that we were not on the pitch, especially the first half. We were playing against a “kindergarten” team “Qilin B” [what the *** the B stays for and what the hell Qilin means, were the questions before the game started, whereby Management was not able to response to it clearly], without the guy “aziz” the average age would have been 13 years. We started the game in a very unorganized way, positions were not kept and our strikers were not able to get any ball from the Middlefield. In the total game we had 9 fouls!!!!!, which is really nothing, showing how “nicht kaempferisch” we were playing. In good days Ralf Vogelmann does this in 10 min!

It was only a matter of time that they would strike. In the 20 min we received our first goal by an individual player’s mistake, who tried to dribble himself at our own 16m area?. But it can happen, especially be happy that I can’t name you with your name, as I forgot who it was…hehe. 10 min later out of no where the opponent scored again, which really was a nice goal and also the 3rd goal was right after it. What is very important for the next game: Losing the ball to a player means not to give up and not continue to chase the player, no, it means even you lose the ball you have to try to follow or in some cases “am Trikot ziehen oder fo…n” him, but please don’t stop and let the player go and simulate some reasons for not following him!. We received two goals in the same way by the mistake of the same player!

Things changed in the second half and game control was back to our hand. Especially Marc and Eric had several good changes, but unfortunately luck was not on our side. Even with the arriving of the Krauts Squad 15 min before the end, we were not able to use this “cheerleaders” heavy support to score at least one goal. There are rumors that the cheerleaders have charged Sauerkrauts Management for the bad performance.

In a “Dringlichkeitssitzung” “Chef persoenlich [Bilgin]” decided to give Coach Dicknoether another chance this week with his new system from “Angola”, before catapulting him back to Swabian territory in case of another loss and changing to our usual “Nicaragua Aufstellung”. It is clearly communicated in the press yesterday, that anything except a win on Saturday would cost him “seinen Stuhl” and that he will be transferred back to manage the “Krauts” new Frauen Team in Tongren Lu.

Therefore: We really need to win this Saturday, doesn’t matter how! I am expecting from each of you [different rules for Mogul] to go to bed at decent hours on Friday, only drink 5 liters instead of the usual 9 liters’ to keep blood circulation, in order to be ready for the new battle. Via a tel conference the Management have also informed that our new acquisition Mr. Paganetti was filmed before last weeks match at 8am in the morning at Tong Ren Lu, ….zzzzzh…, detail report is expected from him by Friday!

Next game, better luck, “definitive” victory!

With Regards
Mogul “Sauerkrauts” China

Season 2007/2008 REVIEW

Most important: Sauer-Krauts 06 celebrated its second season within SIFL! More successful and of course more dreaded by our opponents.

For our newcomers in the league: Sauer-Krauts 06 originated as a “spin-off” from the German Krauts FC due to the large amount of players. The initial idea was to form a 2nd team, which could integrate all those, who due to “speed factor” “age factor” “weight factor” “alcohol factor” and “Friday hangover factor” were mainly guarding the sidelines of Tianma, rather then scoring for Krauts FC (our 1st team). Nevertheless rumors are still existing within SIFL that the main reason was not only the large amount of players forcing Krauts FC to have this “spin off”, no it is said that the beer consumption at the sidelines reached its peak times collapsing the yearly budget of Krauts FC and causing a record budget deficit.

Changing from the sidelines to the pitch and finally trying to kick some ball definitively was a challenge for us in our first season 2006/2007, which was easily reflected in the league table. In several emergency meetings the Sauer-Krauts Management declared first season performance as an “SIFL Internship” to practice and learn, before starting the “real job” [Aufholjagd] in our second season 2007/2008. In another emergency joint press conference [Kampfansage] at the beginning of this season, Sauer-Krauts 06’s announced its “Strategic 5-year Plan” emphasizing that this season will mainly focus on player recruitment. Today we can proudly announced that our hard work showed first fruits: The average player age decreased from 42 years to 41.5 years and increasing our “average player speed” closed to the Japanese and our squad guarantees us always having 11.7 players in average at Tianma. The press also released that with regrets and pressure from our investors Mr. Juergen Sievers left [had to leave] Sauer-Krauts 06, who was acting as the Sauer-Krauts 06 team manager in our first season, but who will remain as a “new player scout” in a place called Dalian [Dorf]. We would like to thank him for all his work and efforts [many many many emails]. Juergen Sievers was replaced by Bilgin Guengoermues [more experienced & more handsome], who took over team organization with his subordinates [slaves] Helmut Dicknoether & Stefan Nissl.

The year started well [with new shirts and the best logistic company in town “Kuehne & Nagel” as our new sponsor] and we accumulated our first points showing clearly that we are moving to the right direction, especially pointing out the highest number of accompanying crowd in a game (13 spectators in one game) against the Dutch represented a club record. With a strong squad only “Force Majeure” stopped our walkover to the Premier League this year: “Snow and cold in Shanghai”, which shall be a warning to our opponents, who luckily won against us, as without “Force Majeure” the Sauer-Krauts 06 are the strongest power within the 1st Division. Nevertheless we declare this season as very successful season [beer consumption increased by 19].

It shall be also pointed out that Sauer-Krauts 06 also made successfull debuts in the Summer Tournament in Shanghai [5th out of 14 team] and will continues to strike in the Fantasy7 Monday Tournament League at Luwan District. With the new season approaching our 3rd season will mainly focus on moving to the Premier League Details will be soon announced at the most sexiest and best location in town: “Judy’s Too” or “Spot Bar”

Zicke Zacke Zicke Zacke “Premier League Sauer-Krauts 06”! Oh yeaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh.....

Yours Shanghai Sauer-Krauts 06

Season News 2006/2007

Top of the Page